Episode 25 - If You’re Always in Survival Mode, Love Will Feel Like a Threat - With DR lilli hartwell

This one is raw, real, and full of “ahh, that’s why I do that” moments.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Lily Hartwell, and we get into the deep stuff—how your mental and physical health mess with your relationships, and why no amount of gym selfies or green smoothies will help if your nervous system is shot.

We talk about how childhood shapes your nervous system, how that plays out in your love life, and what it actually means when you’ve had to “parent yourself.” If you’re always the strong one, the one who has to be in control, or you struggle to let people in—this is for you.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why your anxiety, burnout, or low mood might be linked to what you’re eating (yes, even if you think you’re “healthy”)

• How unresolved trauma shows up in your dating patterns

• Why some people can’t stand change—and how that’s connected to your upbringing

• The link between vitamin deficiencies, emotional dysregulation, and relationships

• What it really means when you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them

• How self-care isn’t just bubble baths, it’s survival

👀 Plus we talk about:

• ADHD, anxiety, and why people aren’t just “lazy” or “bad at relationships”

• The dark side of being hyper-independent

• How you can look amazing on the outside and still be falling apart inside

🔖 Quote to sit with:
"How can you show up safely in a relationship if your nervous system is constantly in survival mode?" – Dr. Lily Hartwell

This episode is a must if you've ever thought:

“Why do I keep attracting the same kind of partner?”
“Why can’t I let someone in?”
“I look after everyone else, but why do I feel so empty?”

It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to understand it.