Samantha Morris (00:00.194)
Hello and welcome back to whatever happened to the gentleman. The podcast that gives you real raw dating advice, healthy relationship advice and a little bit of everything in between. I am your host Sam Morris and if you are watching on YouTube you will notice that I am wearing the same outfit as my previous video.
and the reason for that is because I am batching. So I am back with another one of my quick tip episodes. As I said I really need a better name for that so if any of you guys have a better name for it then please please send it to me. Put it in the comments or send it to my email because
I need something more. Anyway, today is another one of my client's questions. And it is very important because I have a lot of people ask me this before they join my program. yeah. And the question is, how do I know?
if I'm ready to start dating again.
Samantha Morris (01:41.742)
And the first thing that I want to say to you is...
Just because you can date doesn't mean that you have to.
Samantha Morris (01:56.862)
I wasn't dating when I met my husband.
Samantha Morris (02:02.26)
I was just letting the universe flow and I was, you know, I'd done my work healing and moving on from my past.
But truthfully, if someone had said to me, are you ready to start dating again? I think I probably would have said no.
and then this whirlwind of a man walks into my life and changes everything.
So.
even if you've done the healing process.
Samantha Morris (02:42.281)
even if you've worked on your beliefs.
It doesn't mean that you have to actively be on the dating apps. You can just go with the flow and trust that it will happen for you when it's going to happen.
Samantha Morris (03:05.848)
But a few ways to know that you are not ready are you're still thinking about your ex and you're doing all these different things, posting on Instagram.
Samantha Morris (03:26.517)
and
telling people that you jointly know just so that you can make them think that you are living your best life.
Samantha Morris (03:41.912)
And the reason is, is because you're still thinking about your ex way more than you're thinking about yourself.
Samantha Morris (03:50.176)
Another way to show you that you're not ready is that you are dating because you're lonely and you think it's going to make you not so lonely.
And one of the key elements of everything that I teach, though I have a three-step process, is that you need to be happy with yourself.
Other people cannot solve your problems.
Samantha Morris (04:21.643)
The third way I would say that you're not ready is that you are trying to feel validated and you need someone else to do that for you. You need to feel prettier and that's you get that from other people. You need to feel smarter and you need that from other people. And again, it goes back to my previous point that
you need to be all about yourself first because you can never ever find a healthy relationship if you are not being authentically yourself because the whole relationship would be built on a lie.
and neither is this version of you that you're presenting.
Samantha Morris (05:16.726)
And the last way that I would say, you're not ready.
and this is just based on me working with thousands of people, is that you keep repeating the same patterns over and over again, but you expect a different outcome.
And I do talk more about that in my programs, in my free webinar. I'm not doing it in a minute, but I do talk more about that.
Samantha Morris (05:53.88)
because it's so, so important.
Samantha Morris (06:12.6)
So how do we tell if we are ready to start dating?
You have made peace with your past. It happened, but you've moved on from it. That is one of the key signs that you are ready to start dating because you're not going to be bringing into any new dating experience, any new relationship, your stuff from the past, your baggage.
you know who you are outside of a relationship and you're happy with that person as in you.
Samantha Morris (06:51.691)
You are not afraid to walk away from situations that are bad for you. And I'm not talking about just dating situations. I'm talking about friendships. I'm talking about family members. I'm talking about workmates. There may be other people in your life that don't treat you very well. And if you are continuing to let that happen, you're not ready for dating yet.
Samantha Morris (07:19.191)
But if you are the other end of the scale and you don't accept unacceptable behaviour, then that would suggest that you probably are ready for a relationship. You are ready to date because you will be willing to walk away from someone if they are behaving unacceptably.
And the last thing, you are willing to date with intention. So you're not just swiping just to get a dopamine hit.
you are dating because you want to lasting, aligned looks.
If you've got all four of these, you are ready to date. You are ready to connect with someone.
Samantha Morris (08:21.227)
and if you're not there yet, that's okay too. Healing is not a quick process. Loving yourself is not a quick process. But it is your responsibility to do that if you want to live your best life and find aligned luck.
Samantha Morris (08:44.545)
Go and get yourself whole first. And if you need some help in doing that, just send me a DM. I'm at The San Morris Sea.
Okay, that is it for another one of my quick tip episodes. I will see you again on Friday. I hope you've enjoyed it. Thank you as always for listening or watching me. I do appreciate every single person that takes time out of their life and their day to hear my voice, see my face, because there are so many options out there.
and I appreciate everything in one of you. Bye!
