The Real Art of Self-Love (Especially After a Breakup or hurt)

Hey,

it's Sam and I'm back with my weekly newsletter.

Today's has a theme based on the people that I've spoken to over the past week - in masterclasses, 1-1's and my DM's. There is a common belief that keeps coming up - the belief that they aren't good enough.

If you want to listen to the audio version of this, it's on the podcast here.

And the thing is breakups are brutal — and not just because someone left. What hurts the most is the meaning that we attach to it: which is often “I wasn’t enough.”

And if you’re going through the pain of getting over an ex, or the pain of being alone, going through the same relationship cycles, I want you to know something important:

You are not the problem. You are not broken. But you do need to heal — and that starts with learning the art of self-love.

Let me say it again, louder for the heartbroken folks in the back:

You cannot attract healthy love until you believe you’re worthy of it.

Here are five powerful steps I teach in my programs to help you move on from the past and fall back in love with you:

1. Audit how you talk to yourself.

If your self-talk is harsh, critical, or full of shame — it’s time to change it. Ask yourself: Would I say this to someone I love?

If the answer’s no, start small. Instead of forcing “I’m amazing,” try: “I’m learning to love myself again.”

That’s where healing begins.

2. Break the cycle of people-pleasing.

Whether it was in your last relationship or everywhere else in your life, constantly saying yes when you want to say no chips away at your worth. Start practicing “no” — even in the tiniest ways.

Boundaries are a form of self-respect.

3. Do one thing for yourself every day.

You don’t have to overhaul your life.

Just start with five minutes: dance, walk, journal, sip a coffee slowly. Whatever it is, do it just for you.

Self-love isn’t about big gestures — it’s about daily choices.

4. Write a list of everything you’ve overcome.

This is one of the most effective ways to rebuild your confidence after a breakup. List every heartbreak you’ve healed from, every challenge you’ve survived, every win — big or small. You’re not starting from scratch.

You’re starting from experience.

5. Stop waiting to be chosen. Choose yourself.

The hardest part of getting over an ex or hurt, pain, is the belief that we need someone else to validate our worth.

But the game changes when you decide: “This time, I choose me.”
Invest in your growth.

Take yourself out.

Say yes to your healing.

Even five minutes of intentional self-growth per day creates you a new reality.

You deserve to have it all! But it needs to start with the foundations.

If you don't have a copy of my self love Blueprint yet, grab your free copy here.

Let me support you on this journey to finding Healthy aligned love.

Speak to you next week

Sam xx