Sam Morris (00:02.222)
What happens when you think you've got it all together? And then bang.
random thoughts start coming into your head. That's exactly what I'm going to talk to you about today. I am Sam Morris. I am the host of this podcast as well as a 10 year empowered dating coach, healthy relationships coach and healthy sex coach.
So.
This week, today actually, is my daughter's 16th birthday. And as wonderful as that is, you know, we are very excited. A little bit is sad. Excited as well. Today, well not today,
Sam Morris (01:04.043)
Not today. This week.
I have found myself in a bit of a...
funk a bit like you know out of alignment which is unusual for me.
Sam Morris (01:24.23)
I suddenly realised that 16 years ago I had a baby.
Sam Morris (01:35.35)
and 16 years later, I am still not at my pre-pregnancy weight.
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and it really upset me. suddenly dawned on me, know, time goes so fast. Things change so quickly, priorities change, lifestyle changes.
Sam Morris (02:01.26)
And the one goal that I had set out to do pretty much from the day that I left the hospital after having her, I still haven't achieved.
Sam Morris (02:16.13)
And it's messed with my head. Quite a bit actually, all week.
I some of you might be like, well why? Someone that talks about self love all the time, that it's the first step to finding love and the first step to finding the real you has then been sat all week not loving myself. But then I think about my own coach and when he tells like
the real side of what goes beyond, on the behind the scenes and he's not always perfect. So I wanted to make this episode essentially about how I'm not perfect.
Sam Morris (03:10.262)
and what I've done to bring myself out of the way that I've been feeling. Because it's so normal to feel bad about yourself. It's easier to feel bad about yourself than to feel good about yourself.
Sam Morris (03:42.03)
what today's episode is really all about. If you have found yourself thinking the same way, you know, thinking by now I thought I would be in a safe secure relationship, by now I thought I would be in my dream job, by now I thought I'd have got my shit together, then this episode is for you.
Sam Morris (04:14.57)
I talk about all the time how the brain remembers. You can put on your brave face and be all, you know, I'm amazing.
But the truth is...
The and the body remembers everything.
Sam Morris (04:38.062)
And it's so easy, especially when you're going through negativity, negativity throughout your whole life, it's so much easier, it's safer for your brain and your body to sit in negativity. And it's easier. It's easier than actively going and making a change. So as I have reflected, and don't get me wrong, anyone that has watched any videos,
attended any of my webinars or even if you're on my mailing list you will have seen pictures of what I used to look like. I don't look like that anymore. I have lost a lot of weight.
but I just haven't hit that ultimate goal.
And every day I meditate and I do affirmations and I do all the stuff that the experts tell you to do that I tell my clients to do and then I'm still sitting here like with this thing messing with my head. So I'm gonna tell you what I have done since then. For a start, I have broken down into steps.
how I could realistically hit that goal.
Sam Morris (06:03.01)
because it's easy for anyone to say I'm gonna lose weight, I'm gonna heal myself this year, I'm gonna go retrain this year but actually without breaking it down into steps
there's no real plan and then when there isn't a plan you're just going with the flow and you're just winging it and when you wing it the results don't tend to
match what your actual goal is. Whereas if you break it down, you think about if you bought a cabinet from Ikea, it comes with a little booklet that has the exact step by step, this is how you build this. And if you miss a step, you know, it's probably going to fall to pieces.
So that's what you need to be doing with things in your life. If you're not hitting the goals that you want to hit, you start breaking it down into steps. So I started breaking it down into, realistically, how can I fit more exercise into my life and how can I cut back on the foods that I really like to eat but aren't necessarily that great for me. Breaking it down into separate categories of diet,
exercise mindset because it's all those things having the motivation to do the exercise to not eat the chocolate is a mindset thing and if you're struggling if you are wanting to gain more confidence you could break that down into actionable steps of right I want to gain more confidence what is one small step
Sam Morris (07:59.256)
that I can start taking to build that confidence. Maybe it is have a chat with the checkout person at wherever you're going, the shop, coffee shop, whatever. Have a little chat with that person. That's you building your confidence. And then the second step could be you're going to send an email or a text to somebody. If you want that person to be me, that's great, because you guarantee there will be no...
ignoring, no ghosting from me, anyone that emails me gets an email back. So it's a kind of a win-win for you, but that builds up your confidence in your approaching someone new that you don't know.
they're responding and then you could do the next step of I'm going to go to a new group
that I don't know anymore. And it's breaking it down into steps and that's exactly what I've done. So my mindset step needed to be more about a celebration. I needed to remind myself that actually, no, I'm not at my pre-pregnancy weight.
Sam Morris (09:21.752)
But I am.
lot smarter a lot wiser
I have lost a considerable amount of weight. I've lost six stone in total. That isn't something small.
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that is huge and some people just losing six stone would be absolutely amazing so I needed to remember that that actually that is so cool and it was such hard work but I did it which then means I can do it again
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And so I have been incorporating that into my meditation. I have been incorporating, you know, love for my body.
and I've been thinking about the foods that nourish that.
because I've broken it down into steps.
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Mindset is huge when you're trying to change anything We all want quick results You know we live even now now more than ever we live in a Society of dopamine hit dopamine here. Everything is quick. We want quick results and Some things take a little bit longer than we would necessarily like
Sam Morris (10:54.19)
And that's when we tend to fall off.
because keeping that motivation is difficult. The other thing that I have done is I have given myself a visual aid of what I'm going to achieve. So I have a dress that I would really, really like to fit into.
and it is on show.
Sam Morris (11:26.58)
I have also kind of looked at...
foods that make your body feel good and having a visual aid. for you, for anyone listening, if you can put a visual aid to that goal. if you want to...
find love, you can maybe take a picture, find a ring, take a picture of a ring on your wedding finger. And just put it up somewhere. If you want to be confident, go Photoshop a picture of yourself on a stage.
whatever it is you can do it. It's super simple but every time you see that image it brings back this is why I'm doing this even when it gets hard this is why I'm doing it because exercise, healing, learning to love yourself, learning what a healthy relationship looks, feels, sounds like there are elements of that that get hard.
And the body naturally, the brain naturally is like, no, this is hard, I don't want to do this. So having a visual aid and having step-by-step manual of how you're going to do it will keep that motivation fired within you. And so the whole point of kind of this episode,
Sam Morris (13:09.474)
What really, just to show you that I am human?
Sam Morris (13:18.166)
I work with a lot of people that have a lot of problems and I don't always kind of put
myself across because of the nature of the job that I do. have to be there for other people.
And I thought actually sometimes the podcast needs to include the real versions of my life. Not just the tips that I give to other people, not just what my clients have been doing. It needs the real version of me as well. And so I am real, I do struggle, I am not an AI bot.
And I do truly love myself, but every so often those doubts creep back in.
and it's a constant work, you constantly have to work. I always say to people, like my one-to-ones, when they do my programme, that...
Sam Morris (14:37.121)
you can finish the program.
But if you don't consistently keep applying the stuff that you've learned, then you're just going to go backwards.
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It's a process and there is not one human in this world, no matter how much they appear to be like the most confident person in the world, there is not one human that doesn't doubt themselves at some point. And this week, this was my my gosh moment. And if you've heard anything from me before, you know that I have a lot of my gosh moments in my life.
that get me to start making changes and that is just kind of the universe going like warning light. So I hope this resonated with you. I would love for you to leave me a review. I read every single one and I will see you next week. Speak to you next week.
Thank you again for listening. I am off to celebrate my baby's 16th birthday. Thank you.